Pan pipes in the rain

One thing I like about being here is that everything is unexpected. A bad day or an anxious mood can turn good with a well-timed smile from a passing mere with a baby on her hip. This month has been hard for me. I feel I’m in a transitional phase. Feeling alone, shifting between friendship groups, missing home.

Yesterday I ran a banner painting workshop for high school student volunteers. I caught the bus to work on a Saturday, my heart in my mouth. What if no-one turns up? What if I can’t get into my building on a Saturday? What if people do turn up but it’s awkward? Working with high school students makes me slightly nervous because I remember how cruel we used to be.

Ten minutes early, Aephy arrived. Keen and friendly, he didn’t laugh at my Pijin and we chatted about his exams. I gave him selen and asked him to go and buy soft drinks. Too late, I tried to call out the window he should bring a receipt but he was already gone.

Aephy came back with three friends sporting impressive beards, three bottles of sprite and a receipt. “Iumi Transparency Solomon Islands, no gud iumi no transparent,” he said sagely as he handed me the receipt.

I put on a compilation of island reggae and the serious and polite bearded boys started designing the banner. And so it went. We drank sprite, we laughed, we took photos, we painted wonky “R”s - the fun was hilarious.

Afterwards, as I walked home in the rain, I felt better than I have in weeks. Spending an afternoon painting with heavily bearded students helped me look beyond my insecurities, fears and anxieties. Connecting with people through a shared project or a shared passion is an incredible feeling.

Living in a culture that is not your own takes great skill. Being immersed in the unfamiliar is both frightening and exhilarating. It can be tempting to take refuge in the familiar and drink one too many lattes at Lime Lounge. Lattes at Lime Lounge, however, are a double edged sword.

To linger longer in fear, to take refuge too frequently, makes the unfamiliar more alien. When I catch a taxi to avoid shouts of “Mami belo mi!” and “Nicebola!” I allow my fear to grow. When I speak English because it’s easier, I allow my fear to grow.

Fear makes us retreat from the unfamiliar. Taking refuge in the familiar too often makes me loathe myself and resent my environment. Living (happily) in a culture that is not my own takes courage and self-knowledge. I must overcome my fear to find exhilaration in experiencing the new.

As I walked home yesterday, I didn’t hear the “Nicebola”s or the “Mami belo mi”s, I saw a group of men on the side of the road playing pan pipes, felt the cool rain on my face and felt strong, happy and connected to this place.